Being a mom is lonely but you’re not alone. I know it feels like it right now. As you are picking up the food crumbs from the floor for seriously like the millionth time or the toddler is having a melt down because he can’t have a cookie for breakfast (I get it kid sometimes I would love a cookie for breakfast myself). All while you are juggling a hundred different things in your arms, screaming “just put your shoes on” to the easily distracted 4 year old for the millionth time to try and get out the door on time JUST ONCE!
As you sit in your car to breathe for a split second and look in the rear view mirror and see all those mostly happy carefree faces (except the toddler who is still crying over that darn cookie) and think “man I suck at this”. Friend I’ve been there! I’m there right this very second! Motherhood is lonely sometimes.
There are days where you can barley even human let alone make time for friends or something for just yourself. I get it! The husband is at work A LOT (providing for your family of course) leaving you with the majority of your conversations including Minions or Team Umizoomi and the days start to run together and you find yourself in this never ending, constantly on repeat cycle and sometimes find yourself thinking “why?” Then that guilt hits you like a ton of bricks! This is your life, the one you chose, the one you’ve always wanted so how dare you feel tired or overwhelmed or like running and screaming for the hills?!?!?!?
Listen to me and HEAR me, ITS OKAY!!!! You are not alone, you are allowed to have bad days! You are doing a GREAT job! This parenting thing is HARD and TIRING and definitely lonely at times. Please take comfort knowing YOU ARE NOT ALONE! We all have those bad days and guess what? Those bad days do not define us! They do not mark us forever as being the mom who couldn’t keep it all together! Because tomorrow is a new day and tomorrow may be better. And if tomorrow isn’t better, if tomorrow is another “I want to pull my hair out” kind of day then THAT’S OKAY too! You are a rockstar! You are a magician who can multitask, juggle and keep tiny little humans alive like it’s nobody’s business! You seriously ROCK and those tiny little humans adore you and think you are pretty much perfect! And in the middle of all this crazy beautiful chaos know that you are NOT ALONE!
The minute you have a child you automatically agree to love something, someone, more than yourself. You put all their needs ahead of yours, you will do anything to see them smile, it kills you when you have to punish them and you will forever, for the rest of your life, wear your ENTIRE heart on your sleeve. Having children is exilerating, tiring, loving, hard and the most terrifying thing EVER! If they fall, if they get hurt, if they get their heart broken, if they get let down by loved ones, and God forbid if they have any medical issues, you FEEL it all. All their pain, their frustration, their scaredness, their sadness, and most of all the worry!
My son is currently having some medical issues. He has had a battle since in the womb. The last 2 months of my pregnancy were filled with two tests done weekly to monitor him up until birth. At birth he wasn’t breathing at all and I hemorrhaged. We both almost didn’t make it but God pulled us through. Now for the last 8 weeks of his life here on earth it has been constant battles that have resulted in formula changes, bottle changes, medication changes, multiple doctor office visits and several test and he is only 8 weeks old. He has had to fight since the beginning and is continuing to do so. Friend this is HARD! It is tiring and emotional and exhausting and terrifying and I’m wearing it all on my sleeve where my heart for this baby boy lies. But you know what? I have God! I have his promise to take care of us all. And most of all I have his love not just for me but for my son as well! You see even though I love my son with ALL OF MY HEART God loves him a million times more than I could even imagine and that’s where I find my peace through all this! I’m choosing God, I’m choosing to trust in him and his plan for our family, even when that seems impossible, and I know he has great things in store for my son!
Friend if you are struggling with something, if you are in a constant battle I encourage you to please hand it all over to God! Lay it at his feet and let him worry about what tomorrow brings! He never intended for us to do all this on our own! He wants to help us through and he longs for us to come to him. Because as much as we love our children and our heart is worn on our sleeves, God’s love for us surpasses all and he aches for us when we ache and he takes so much pride and joy in the times of happiness! Because God loves us NO MATTER WHAT! And he wants to help me and he wants to help YOU!