Today has sucked, well really the past two days have sucked. The first day was my birthday and it was spent taking 4 sick kids to the doctors by myself, grocery shopping, a fever induced vomit from the baby in the paper goods isle in Publix, $100 worth of medications, having to pay to renew my tag and license (I mean who came up with the idea to do that on your birthday???), pay a red light ticket (gasp, I know I’m human and make mistakes), find out our car is on its last leg (like engine blowing up, no fixing it, gotta buy a new car last leg). Today followed that fantastic day up with cranky kids because they are sick, my 3 yo breaking out in a rash everywhere, school work not going as planned at all (we homeschool), the husband having to go out of town, out of state unexpectedly and leave me here with all FOUR sick kids, me starting to come down with the sickness (thanks kids) and being up with the baby all night!
Like I said these past two days have just plain out sucked! But as I sit here rocking my baby who has a 104 fever at 5am, feeling sorry for myself, I realize something…….. I am so blessed! Why do we all get caught up in the negativity of life sometimes? Why do we let Satan steal our joy so quickly when things get rough? I realized how much I have to be thankful for!
I am so thankful that we had the money to pay for the kids doctors appointments and medicine, I am thankful that the baby didn’t vomit ON me in the paper goods isle, I am thankful that my husband brought home pizza for dinner so I didn’t have to cook on my birthday and that my in laws brought me a cake to celebrate. I am thankful that we have such an amazing doctor to get us through the scary 104 fevers, I am thankful that besides these current infections my babies are happy and healthy because believe me if anything our time in and out of the hospital taught us was just how truly sick some kids are. I am thankful that even though my husband leaving me at this very moment was the worst possible time that I am married to such a Godly and caring man!
You see it is so easy to get caught up in how hard or unfair life is currently being to us, but sometimes we just need to take a step back and show our gratitude because there is always always always something to be thankful for! I’m not saying it will make the bad days suck any less, but it will help you to pull out of that pity party and accept what life has thrown at you right now and realize just how strong and an amazing mother you are. Also to remember that God is good and loves you even on the really sucky days. We have two choices we can make, to sit here in self pity and feel sorry for ourselves or we can chose joy and thankfulness and rejoice in all that we are and have. Which will you chose today?
Husbands, do you remember the way your wife use to make you feel in the beginning? You know what I’m talking about, that beginning love when you didn’t care who knew how head over heels you were for that girl. You didn’t care how unmanly or how “soft” you looked. ALL you cared about was that girl who made your heart skip a beat every time you saw her. The same girl who could make your entire face light up with just the sound of a text coming in with the hopes that it was her! You remember, that girl that no matter how exhausted you were you would stay up until the early hours of the morning just talking to her. Do you remember the way she use to look at you??? Like you were the only man she had ever laid eyes upon! You could feel in the pit of your stomach just how deeply that girl loved you with just one glance from her.
Now fast forward, to the present days. The ones filled with jobs, responsibilities, kids, hurt, harsh words that can’t be unspoken. Do you ever find yourself wondering “where did that girl I fell so madly in love with go?” How did we get here? She has changed, you have changed and there are some days you both just feel so completely far apart and disconnected from one another you can’t even fathom the love you once shared. You both have made mistakes in your marriage. You both have said things you can’t take back. You both have snapped at your worst moments and attacked each other and you both just know without a shadow of a doubt the other one is wrong! It is their fault not yours!
But husbands ask yourself this. When is the last time you saw your wife. I mean truly saw her! Looked at her with that passion and love in your eyes you once had. Saw and appreciated who she has become now as a mother to your children? This is not a bash on you husbands I promise, but what if you tried something different? What if you chose to see the good in your wife every day even on the bad days? What if you were proud of your wife again? What if you made her KNOW and the world know that she IS the most important part of your day? Do you think her reactions towards you would change?
You see as moms, and women, we desire to do this whole mom and wife thing to the very best of our abilities. But most days we are our biggest critics and beat ourselves up all day long over all the things we did wrong that day. And you know what one of the worst things is??? Seeing frustration or disappointment in our husbands eyes. And husbands I know you don’t mean to look at your wives that way! I know you are just as exhausted and tired and over worked and under loved as she is. I know when you touch her and she seems to cringe at that touch that you begin to feel unwanted and unloved but please remember she has been touched ALL.DAY.LONG so by the time you get to her the last thing she wants is to be touched more. Believe me when I tell you it IS NOT your touch that makes her skin crawl, at this point of the day it is even just the thought of ANYONE or ANYTHING touching her that makes her want to come out of her skin.
So what if you went back to making her know she is number one! What if your wife knew everyday how proud you were to call her your wife? When is the last time you built her up in love? Does your wife know she is your everything? Does she know she is number one above all else? If not I urge you to try it. Make her number one. Make her realize that everything and every one fails in comparison to her and watch what happens! You will see a change take place in her. She will begin to know you are proud of her, that you see her as nothing short of amazing and the simple act of you doing that will allow her to see herself that way as well! Remind her that you are her safe place, her protector. Show her that she never has to be worried that maybe you are agreeing with friends or people who may talk poorly about her but that you are and will every single time stand up for HER!
I know she isn’t the woman she use to be. And I know it may even be hard to like her some days but this mom and wife thing is tough and there isn’t a manual on how to be a good wife AND a good mother and believe me when I tell you she hates herself for failing (or at least feeling like she’s failing) at both tasks every single day. She begins to feel unworthy of you! Unworthy of your love, acceptance and proudness of her. So husbands, show your wives just how special they are to you! You married them for a reason and on her absolute worst days I promise no one else can lift her up quite like you and your love can. You just have to remind her how much it is there from time to time and make sure you aren’t falling into the rut of forgetting to show her every single day!