A Letter to the Husbands

Husbands, do you remember the way your wife use to make you feel in the beginning? You know what I’m talking about, that beginning love when you didn’t care who knew how head over heels you were for that girl. You didn’t care how unmanly or how “soft” you looked. ALL you cared about was that girl who made your heart skip a beat every time you saw her. The same girl who could make your entire face light up with just the sound of a text coming in with the hopes that it was her! You remember, that girl that no matter how exhausted you were you would stay up until the early hours of the morning just talking to her. Do you remember the way she use to look at you??? Like you were the only man she had ever laid eyes upon! You could feel in the pit of your stomach just how deeply that girl loved you with just one glance from her.

Now fast forward, to the present days. The ones filled with jobs, responsibilities, kids, hurt, harsh words that can’t be unspoken. Do you ever find yourself wondering “where did that girl I fell so madly in love with go?” How did we get here? She has changed, you have changed and there are some days you both just feel so completely far apart and disconnected from one another you can’t even fathom the love you once shared. You both have made mistakes in your marriage. You both have said things you can’t take back. You both have snapped at your worst moments and attacked each other and you both just know without a shadow of a doubt the other one is wrong! It is their fault not yours!

But husbands ask yourself this. When is the last time you saw your wife. I mean truly saw her! Looked at her with that passion and love in your eyes you once had. Saw and appreciated who she has become now as a mother to your children? This is not a bash on you husbands I promise, but what if you tried something different? What if you chose to see the good in your wife every day even on the bad days? What if you were proud of your wife again? What if you made her KNOW and the world know that she IS the most important part of your day? Do you think her reactions towards you would change?

You see as moms, and women, we desire to do this whole mom and wife thing to the very best of our abilities. But most days we are our biggest critics and beat ourselves up all day long over all the things we did wrong that day. And you know what one of the worst things is??? Seeing frustration or disappointment in our husbands eyes. And husbands I know you don’t mean to look at your wives that way! I know you are just as exhausted and tired and over worked and under loved as she is. I know when you touch her and she seems to cringe at that touch that you begin to feel unwanted and unloved but please remember she has been touched ALL.DAY.LONG so by the time you get to her the last thing she wants is to be touched more. Believe me when I tell you it IS NOT your touch that makes her skin crawl, at this point of the day it is even just the thought of ANYONE or ANYTHING touching her that makes her want to come out of her skin.

So what if you went back to making her know she is number one! What if your wife knew everyday how proud you were to call her your wife? When is the last time you built her up in love? Does your wife know she is your everything? Does she know she is number one above all else? If not I urge you to try it. Make her number one. Make her realize that everything and every one fails in comparison to her and watch what happens! You will see a change take place in her. She will begin to know you are proud of her, that you see her as nothing short of amazing and the simple act of you doing that will allow her to see herself that way as well! Remind her that you are her safe place, her protector. Show her that she never has to be worried that maybe you are agreeing with friends or people who may talk poorly about her but that you are and will every single time stand up for HER!

I know she isn’t the woman she use to be. And I know it may even be hard to like her some days but this mom and wife thing is tough and there isn’t a manual on how to be a good wife AND a good mother and believe me when I tell you she hates herself for failing (or at least feeling like she’s failing) at both tasks every single day. She begins to feel unworthy of you! Unworthy of your love, acceptance and proudness of her. So husbands, show your wives just how special they are to you! You married them for a reason and on her absolute worst days I promise no one else can lift her up quite like you and your love can. You just have to remind her how much it is there from time to time and make sure you aren’t falling into the rut of forgetting to show her every single day!

 

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